[a letter to Mom]

I started this blog such a long time ago and failed, completely, to even add a SECOND post. How pathetic. Reminds me of the many things you wanted to start. Remember the mystery novel you thought about writing? Remember the great business ideas you had? If only we could be rewarded for simply thinking these things up. No work needed - just a great idea. Then again, they say the fun is in the journey, not the arrival. So here I go again...

Tomorrow is Jeff and my anniversary and we leave for KC this week. I was hoping it would be late enough in September to give us a bit of a taste of fall. No such luck... it's 75-80 and sunny there. Exactly the same as Los Angeles. I should have remembered that from when we spent all that time with you in September. Beautiful weather up until about October 15, and then it turned cold. Not bitter, just chilly at night and grayer skies. Sort of synonymous with our hearts at the time. Now that I'm thinking of it, I'm so glad it was gorgeous and warm through September since it allowed us such memorable mornings and evenings on the patio.

On to my cooking!

As we're leaving soon, I didn't make too many recipes today. In honor of tomorrow's 2 year anniversary, I prepped a nice fish dish  of halibut that's served over a bed of lentils and sweet potatoes. (Recipe below  - it's from Real Simple) I think it's going to be nice but it's a new recipe and Jeff already gave me a so-so look for just the lentil/sweet potato mix. I'll let you know how it turns out. I hope it's good because it seems like it's really healthy!

Did I tell you how much of a fish snob I've become? I used it love fish just for the reason that it was the lowest calorie option on every menu. Now, I'd rather have steak. First of all, it seems like I'm often disappointed when I opt for fish unless we're somewhere I can really trust it's going to be good. We took you to Restaurant Shiro (where Jeff worked for so long). Now THAT is the place to get the BEST fish in town. But then there's also the Water Grill downtown and Ocean Seafood in Santa Monica. Funny... I think we took you to all of those at some point or another. 

Finding the perfect spot to purchase fish has been a challenge. I learned from you long ago, the difference it makes to find a great market - and I don't mean Ralphs. I've tried Whole Paycheck and it's been fairly unreliable. The best fish so far has been from the Santa Monica fish market OR the fish place in the Farmer's Market. The latter is where we purchased the filets today.

The other big main dish I'm cooking today is brisket. I looked for your recipe but I couldn't find it. I think it's probably tucked in your holiday file at home. I'll have to hunt it down.

So, here's the big challenge when cooking in our kitchen. We have one oven. One temperamental, over-heating, ONE rack oven. And it's small. So, I'm really only able to have one item in there at any given time. So I have to be creative about how I time things. Today, like many days of cooking, I messed up because I have this cake in the oven (more on that in a minute) and I desperately need to get the brisket in there. I did the browning and it's sitting with some sauteed onions and beer (and a few other items). The next step is to put my pot in the oven but I can't because of the cake. Meanwhile, it's supposed to cook for three hours! If you had been around, I would have called to ask whether I can just start the cooking process on the burner and then get it into the oven once the cake is done. Without knowing if I'm turning my brisket to rubber, I went ahead with this plan. We'll see how it goes.

I mentioned the cake. This cake looks FANTASTIC. It's got apples and blackberries and booze in the form of apple brandy. I did everything perfectly  - down to taking the time to sift the flower mix - at step, I THINK, you rarely did. It's been in the oven for the requisite 90 minutes. Guess what, I put a toothpick in and it was FAR from clean. This kind of thing frustrates the hell out of me. It used to be our oven that was the issue - literally putting it on 350 means the oven temp is somewhere around broiling. But now we have a thermometer in there and the temp should be regulated. So why is my cake a pile of goo? I put it in for 20 more minutes. We'll see what happens. And, meanwhile, my brisket continues to be cooked on the stovetop. 

I'm starting to think the fish might be our meal tonight.

Now, see, this type of stuff happens to me a little too often. I don't remember you having this trouble. Of course, by the time you were my age, you had a much nicer kitchen. But that's no excuse. I'm a good cook, I know it, but I really need to nail down the ol' read-the-recipes-before-you-start method. In fact, we dined with our friends Sandie and Billy a few nights ago. Sandie is this phenomenal cook... and she's so relaxed. It's this care-free loungy way of cooking that I envy so... because it always ends up being fantastic and she never looks like she's worked up even a single bead of sweat. They come to our place and I'm usually figuring out how to fix some mistake I've made. Oy - please tell me you were like that just a little bit.

Luckily, my recipes do turn out once in a while. And, for the time being, I think I've convinced most of our friends that I took after you when it comes to cooking talent. And, luckily, I have Jeff who will step in and help do the stuff that requires oodles of patience... or who will run to the store for the 10th time to get the one last thing I forgot. You'd be proud of him. He holds me up. So - tomorrow, raise a toast to both of us, but especially him because he deserves tons of credit for sticking with me over the past couple of years.

I miss you tons and I think of you every single day. 

And I love you.

-Dana

The recipes:

Halibut with Lentils and Mustard Sauce

http://food.realsimple.com/realsimple/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1840691

Blackberry and Apple Cake

http://saveur.com/article/Food/Blackberry-and-Apple-Cake

Beer Braised Brisket with Onions

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/BEER-BRAISED-BRISKET-WITH-ONIONS-107586